There are games that can be appreciated in the grand scale of things and some that can only be appreciated in the relative scale of their format. Thorium Wars is one of those latter types of games.

On its own merits, Thorium Wars comes off as a throw-back to the earlier days of 3D gaming. If the game play footage were observed with no indication of when it had been made, it would be understandable to think it was some obscure early Playstation 1 title or even a 3DO game. The graphics are blocky in the way that 3D games of that era were, with not much detail to the surroundings or enemies beyond just enough to tell them apart. In fact, almost everything about the presentation feels so much like it is from that period, it almost seems on purpose. All it is missing are the digitized, live action cut scenes that would have been the major selling point at that time.

We've covered the eight best Mario spin-offs, so... you really should have seen this one coming. We're about to run a gauntlet of eight spectacularly terrible games that just happen to star Mario and/or his pals.

Any character as prolific as Mario is eventually going to be in some pretty awful games. For gamers of my generation, though, we expect a certain level of quality when Mario puts in an appearance. Super Mario Bros and Mario 64 were revolutionary, while most everything else in the main series is at least pretty good.

The bad spin-offs we discuss below aren't just crap-- they're insulting crap, which is of course the worst kind.  

 

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What do you say about a game like Arkanoid? As one of the chief innovators of block-breaking games, Arkanoid’s game play has not needed to change much over the years. This has lead to the existence of a slew of imitators and knock-offs which can easily be found on pretty much any format available. To regain the spotlight, the newest version of the game for WiiWare, Arkanoid Plus! would need to do something very innovative.

Does the game do so?

No.

The graphics have been made brighter and the controls are decent enough for control pad use, but those are the only notable changes. If you have played any other version of Arkanoid before, then Plus! brings nothing especially new to the table. Time Mode is arguably an interesting addition, as it requires you to clear a set amount of mini-stages in a certain amount of time with only one ball.

Unfortunately, Time Mode does not stay interesting for very long. It also does not compensate for the fact that the core game play mode is exactly as you remember it from back in the arcade days.

If you have never played any version of Arkanoid (or any block-breaking game) before, then Plus! is not the worst way to get acquainted with the franchise. However, if you have played any other version of Arkanoid, or even any of its imitators, then there is no reason to invest in Plus! as well. So feel free to give Arkanoid Plus! a minus amount of your Wii Points.
 

I like to think that every gamer, on some level, has a soft spot for Mario. Ranging from his early appearances in Donkey Kong and Mario Bros to recent efforts like Super Mario Galaxy, a new Mario game almost always promises some amazing new way of thinking about the basics of playing video games. All Mario ever has to do is travel from Point A to Point B, but this task tends to become increasingly demented as a game wears on. 

Mario stopped being just a character who appeared in flagship platform games a long time ago, though. These days Mario has diversified his gaming portfolio by appearing in dozens of games created by numerous developers and even giving his sidekicks the spotlight from time to time. Some of these games have been terrible, but today we're here to talk about the best.
 
Many of these you've probably played, as they've become part of the Nintendo gamer's lexicon. Others have grown a bit more obscure over time and may only be known to die-hard Nintendo fans. Regardless, all of these games are worthy and all expanded the way gamers regard Mario. Not all of Nintendo's spin-off ambitions for Mario would work out so well, but these all went for the brass ring and caught it. 
 

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When you first start this game and hear the calming music, the soft, gentle visuals and the Mii-like characters, you can be forgiven for expecting this game to be a light-hearted experience. You would still be very wrong, but you can be forgiven for it.

In truth, You, Me, and the Cubes is a game about the fragile balance of life. A lot of effort is put out with small returns and, even when you succeed, you may just be co-signing much of what you have created to an endless pit of darkness anyway.

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It's price-drop day for Wii! If you've wanted a $200 price point before pulling the trigger on this system, then you can go out and snag one now. If you're a patient sort who's willing to wait on shipping time, though, you can pick up a new Wii for what is effectively $175 if you order through Amazon.

From time to time Amazon offers deals where you get a free Amazon gift card for X amount of money along with a purchase of a given item. Amazon's offering a $25 gift card with new Wiis right now. So while you'd pay $200 for your Wii up front, Amazon's tossing in $25 worth of free whatever-you-like with the deal. It's a sort of rear-loaded discount.

Right now, that makes Amazon's Wii prices the absolute best of anywhere currently offering the system. Place your orders now if you're interested-- I'm not sure how long the gift card deal is going to last.  Also pay attention to some other noteworthy Wii game deals Amazon's running right now-- including Excitebots with Wii Wheel for $20, Mario Kart with Wii Wheel for $40, Wii Play for $40, Super Mario Galaxy for $40, and the soon-to-be-obsolete original edition of Wii Fit for $80. 

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Welcome to the Contra Experience. You are going to die. You are going to die a lot. Be prepared for that and you can handle what this game offers.

Following repeated, underwhelming, performances after the end of the 16-Bit Era, it seemed as if Contra was doomed to fade away like many of its side-scrolling brethren. Konami’s attempts to adapt the series to more modern sensibilities only seemed to distance the games from what made them fun. Then Contra 4 on the Nintendo DS was a rousing success and Konami realized that letting the game stay close to its roots was not a bad thing at all.

Now we have Contra Rebirth for WiiWare, and, aside from a few minor quibbles, it stays true to form and can serve as a good introduction for those unfamiliar with the series.

Amazon tends to offer gamers some ludicrously sweet deals, but this goes above and beyond all previous expectations. Through September 30, anyone who purchases a new DSi or DS Lite through Amazon gets their choice of free game or accessory from a list of options.

Ah, now I can guess what you're thinking-- "Clearly, the games and accessories are all either ancient or crappy." No, go check that link! Amazon's list of giveaway games includes truly awesome stuff like Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars and Rhythm Heaven (among other, more casual games).

The accessories are mostly lame, but note that one of the DSes you can buy to quality for the deal is the Lime Green DS Lite with Personal Trainer: Cooking that came out earlier this year. So you could snag that and then quality for another free game besides! 

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When a game is homage to elements, both good and bad, in the history of game systems, how many bad elements are you willing to forgive for the sake of that homage? When a game is purposefully trying to mimic the bad camera work and occasionally sluggish controls of certain generations, does that forgive it?

This is one of the questions to ask when playing a game like Bit Boy!!, which professes to be a look back at the styles of each generation of game systems. Of course, other questions about the game arise as you guide Kubi on his quest. While you try to rescue his friends from the monsters that have kidnapped them, you may discover that these other questions overshadow the initial one.

Sin and Punishment was one of the best-kept secrets on the N64. It never received a North American release until it was put out on the Virtual Console a while back, whereupon a whole lot of people who'd done some deeply unwise things to their Nintendo 64s got to feel a little silly.

Sin and Punishment 2 is a shooter from Treasure, and like the original game, it is set in a parallel universe where a post-apocalyptic city - I want to say it's Tokyo, but I may just be assuming that it is -  is being invaded by aliens and the only way to defeat them is by being as ridiculously goddamned awesome as you possibly can. It is a game about detonating massive groups of aliens while dodging their return fire with your hover skateboard, or perhaps deflecting it with your laser sword.

 

Of course, it's not an easy game, but then, Treasure games usually aren't. If you're unfamiliar with the studio, they're responsible for handing out some truly memorable asskickings to the hardcore crowd over the last few years, such as Ikaruga, Gunstar Super Heroes, and (the exception to their usual trend of making challenging games) Wario World.

I got to play through a few minutes' worth of the game at E3, and it's pretty easy to start with. One of the new playable characters, Kachi, is the game's "easy mode"; she has a charge attack that allows you to lock onto multiple targets and blow them all away at once, which lets you focus most of your efforts on dodging their attacks. The stage takes the form of a running gun battle set in, over, and amidst the ruins of a city, leading up to a fight against what can only be described as a giant chicken.

It takes some guts to bring out a sequel to this game, particularly a sequel that's getting a full retail release; this is very much a hardcore twitch shooter, and you have to be pretty up on your gaming to know about the original game at all. Just the same, I enjoyed playing it, and I'm glad to see something like it coming back.

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